A cunning ruse resulting in involuntary vegetable consumption by minors.
This is the bloody tale of how two children fought to the death – TO THE DEATH! – in my kitchen, over a plateful of vegetables. Sound like a dream? One less child to worry about; only the strongest offspring left standing, flaming chopsticks raised in triumph, fueled by roughage, newly prepared to carry the family name on with pride and voracity? Read on.
My stepdaughter’s 9 year old cousin is visiting from Bangkok. In Bangkok she enjoys riding astride Tuk-tuks, kicking rats and roaches in the streets, and picking tourists’ pockets. She mostly likes to eat weird fish and chilies belched out of the devil’s own throat. My 7 year old stepdaughter isn’t really allowed to cross the street by herself yet. She enjoys going to Catholic school, knows all the words to “Party in the USA”, and is a badass soccer player. She mostly likes to eat chicken nuggets and anything that looks or tastes like cornbread. Making dinner just got complicated.
Veggie stir-fry seemed like good culinary middle ground, and also a way to get rid of whatever was starting to colonize in the crisper drawer. Foreseeing that there would be items in this dish that one rugrat or the other would find repulsive, I started them horse trading with each other. You don’t like your broccoli? Trade it for daikon radish. If you have kids you’ll know they’re easy to trick. My plan was to manipulate them into at least tasting one bite of everything to figure out what to part with and what to hoard. Things were going well. But I underestimated the competitive nature of young ladies. And I underestimated, too, the sweet, green, crunchy Helen of Troy that is the snow pea.
Sparing the details, the desire to monopolize every available snow pea drove these two into a lethal spiral that no force could reverse. A tragic ending… Parenting is difficult, even when one has the best intentions. I’m sure you wouldn’t be insensitive enough to ask who won the fight. Either way, don’t let this battle have been waged in vain. Use this recipe wisely. You’ve been warned.
"SHARING" STIR-FRY:
Ingredients:
Stir Fry:
3/4 lb chicken, pork, beef or shrimp, cut to bite-sized pieces
1 egg white
1 T cornstarch
1 1/2 lbs mixed vegetables, chopped
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 T minced or grated ginger
Sauce:
2 T cornstarch
1/4 cup water
1 1/2 cups chicken or vegetable broth
2 T soy sauce
5 T oyster sauce
1 tsp sesame oil
Scramble egg white with corn starch. Pour over meat and refrigerate 30 minutes or more. Make a slurry with the cornstarch and water, then add to remaining sauce ingredients.
Heat 1 tablespoon vegetable oil in a wok over med-high heat.
Add meat and stir fry quickly until cooked through. Remove meat from wok, wipe clean, and return to heat. Heat 1-2 tablespoons vegetable oil. Add garlic and ginger, fry for 20 seconds, then add vegetables.
Add longer cooking veggies first, such as carrots and daikon, followed by quick cooking veggies like snow peas and bok choy.
Stir fry vegetables until lightly cooked but still crunchy. Add meat and sauce, cook until heated through. Serve with white rice for guaranteed east/west kiddie palate satisfaction.
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